Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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