thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
