fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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