On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize