none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
