I hate your face
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
