How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I think my moral compass just broke
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
