At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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