dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
pray to the hookup gods
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize