perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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