So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
