He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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