I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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