my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
