I just made out with a guy for $7.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
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