Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
