new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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