just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just forgot I was standing up.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
