I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
