love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
