She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You pole danced in your parka.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
