no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Randomize
