When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
honey bunches of taint.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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