Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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