she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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