pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
