what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize