I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
