I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
