The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
There's always time for handjobs
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
