But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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