There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
