so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
