I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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