So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
