i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
