well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
