Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
