I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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