Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
