he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
