I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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