You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
