may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
