I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
