so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
