As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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