just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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