Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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