He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize