thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
All the doctor said was why
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
