I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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