we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
